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One man’s readability is another man’s literary merit

January 3rd, 2012 · Writing

We are rapidly closing in on 20 years since I set foot in a college classroom. Time has blurred most of my classes together. One of the rare ones that stands out to me is an upper-level English literature class I took the first semester of my junior year. I signed up for an ambitious six courses that fall. To make life a little easier, I sought out the professor for my lit class midsummer and got the reading list ahead of time so I could get a head start on things.

There were six books on the syllabus. For some reason the only one I recall for sure is Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley. There might have been a Thomas Hardy in there, and I know I read Bram Stoker’s Dracula around then, though I have good memories of that one so it might have been a different class.

My enthusiasm for the course faded almost as soon as the school year began. If I wasn’t the only non-English major there, I was at least in a tiny minority. These were hard-core lit nerds, bent on deconstructing every paragraph. I didn’t even know what “deconstruction” was. Hell, I still don’t. To most of the other students apparently it involved boiling the story down to its core, which was inevitably about sex and/or masturbation. I generally felt they were reading a little too much into things.

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Vampires in Washington? Don’t be surprised, they’ve been there forever

December 13th, 2011 · Blog, Writing

Pursuit of DarknessSince I started writing book reviews for Baseball America three years ago I’ve seen all kinds of pitches. We get e-mails from Big Six promo folks and personal pleas from authors who have struck out on their own. In early 2010 I received an e-mail from a small publisher called Chin Music Press about a book called Home, Away in which a star baseball player walks away from a $42 million contract to be the father his troubled teen son needs.

I said bring it on, because I’m always looking for a good baseball novel. But I’ll admit I had my doubts. An interesting premise can still go horribly wrong in the execution. Several days later, the book arrived in the mail. I was in the middle of reading something else, but scanned through the first few pages just to see what I was dealing with. Within minutes I was hooked. I finished it in about three days. Maybe less. And that’s with a baby in the house, which made reading time tough to come by.

Since then I’ve beaten the drum at every opportunity for Jeff Gillenkirk’s debut novel. Turns out he grew up not far from where I live now in Upstate New York, though he’s long since headed off to more exciting locales, including NYC, Washington, D.C., and San Francisco, where he lives now. We’ve become friendly, exchanging e-mails on a semi-regular basis. He was kind enough to blurb my forthcoming book. Yet, somehow, I missed the part where he wrote a second novel, called Pursuit of Darkness, until he mentioned it last week.

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Santa Claus is coming back to town

December 1st, 2011 · Blog

Santa ClausI don’t recall the exact moment I stopped believing in Santa Claus. By third grade I was well enough convinced to join several others in mocking a classmate who claimed to have seen Santa’s sleigh passing through the winter sky. He’d have had an easier time selling a UFO sighting. Kids are a particularly unforgiving lot once they develop the critical-thinking skills to debunk fairy tales.

I won’t accuse my older sisters (two and three years ahead of me) of breaking the spell, because I honestly don’t remember when or how I caught on to the Santa ruse. It seems logical they might have tipped me off that my parents were the ones who left the gifts under the Christmas tree, but they might have played along until someone else spoiled it.

Once you wise up, there’s no going back to those innocent days of flying reindeer and a toy sack that can fit enough goodies for every boy and girl on the planet. The mythology of early childhood—the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, and St. Nicholas himself—all fade overnight, cast aside in our haste to grow up.

Turns out we get a second chance to embrace them.

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Winter ball in the States would reduce players’ risks

November 15th, 2011 · Baseball

In light of the elevated threats faced by baseball players in Venezuela and Mexico, maybe it’s time to consider an advanced winter league in the States, possibly in Florida, where suitable ballparks sit vacant until training camps open in February, or California, where generations ago the baseball world flocked every offseason.

The high-profile abduction of Washington Nationals catcher Wilson Ramos last week was just the latest—and most harrowing—of a number of threats players have faced in Venezuela. In October, Minnesota Twins prospect Joe Benson was robbed at gunpoint when his cab was stopped on the way from the airport to his hotel. During the 2010 women’s World Cup in Caracas, a Hong Kong player was shot in the leg while taking the field in the fourth inning. The country has become more and more of an outlaw nation in recent years, with abductions blossoming into a lucrative career for emboldened criminals. Families of Venezuelan players are often targeted and held for ransom.

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Witness in Penn State rape case had responsibility to do more than tell his bosses

November 9th, 2011 · Blog

Character quiz time. You witness an older man raping a child. You:

a. Do everything within your power to stop it immediately, using physical force if necessary, and if not necessary using it anyway.

b. Slink away and tell your boss the next day.

c. Do nothing and hope it doesn’t happen again.

Sorry, Mike McQueary, I’m not giving partial credit for b.

And for the rest of Penn State, c was never close to the right answer. The only correct response is a. Doesn’t matter if the rapist (and that’s how I’d characterize someone sodomizing a boy in a shower) used to be your coach. Doesn’t matter if he’s three times as big as you are, which in this case, he wasn’t. McQueary, who was a graduate assistant at Penn State when he stumbled onto former defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky raping a 10-year-old boy in March 2002, played football for the Nittany Lions. Certainly he was capable of laying a hit on a naked man in a shower.

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Is your lead character the master of his domain?

November 3rd, 2011 · Baseball, Writing

Ever read a book, or even a short story, and hit a scene that just doesn’t quite work for you? Something’s just not right, but maybe you can’t put your finger on it. Or maybe you’re thinking, “you know, if the main character just masturbated in here somewhere this would be perfect.”

Okay, me neither.

But that is the feedback I got from someone in my writing workshop this week. I wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that. I think I actually laughed out loud the first time she said it. After the second, third, and fourth times she reiterated her point I just bit my tongue and thought, “well, lady, don’t be offended when you buy the book, but he’s not going to be doing that.

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Twenty years ago Morris turned in Hall-worthy performance

October 28th, 2011 · Baseball

Whew. Is this World Series thingy exciting enough for anyone yet? We’ve had pitchers’ duels and we’ve had blowouts. We’ve had heroic hitting exploits, capped by David Freese’s 11th-inning blast to end Game 6. We’ve had managerial gaffes, bonehead plays, and baserunning blunders. We’ve had no shortage of drama.

And pitching changes. Wow. They need to install a turnstile on that mound. Ron Washington and Tony La Russa have called in a reliever 49 times in six games. That’s 23 pitching changes for the Rangers and 26 for the Cardinals. Just three starting pitchers have completed seven innings of work, with Texas lefthander Derek Holland the only one to survive into the ninth.

Who’s left for Game 7?

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The seven habits of highly annoying tweeters

October 21st, 2011 · Blog

Once upon a time, not all that long ago, I preferred Facebook to Twitter. Part of this was due to my half-hearted commitment to Twitter, which had held me back from making a serious attempt to connect with folks beyond those I might have been connected to anyway. In other words, the same type of people I would have been Friends with on Facebook.

When I launched this site over the summer, I began trawling Twitter more regularly, learned a bit more about its ins and outs, and slowly started expanding my network. I’m still a lightweight in the Twitter world, with a small, yet growing, band of followers. I see people on there all the time with tens of thousands of followers, a level I’m sure I’ll never reach. I have a job and a family and a lawn to mow, and I’m not interested in spending eight hours a day trying to amass an army of 100,000 faceless followers.

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Globe opens up Theo-bashing to all comers

October 14th, 2011 · Baseball, Blog

To most people, writing about sports for a newspaper probably looks like a pretty easy gig. Not nearly so difficult as, say, explaining business and economics to the local readership. Anyone can write sports. Aren’t those the guys who sailed through school with a C average? Look at Ray Barone. He’s a doofus.

For some reason the Boston Globe gave business columnist Steven Syre a free kick at Theo Epstein today as part of their “who needs the boy wonder anyway?” coverage. If Syre proves one thing, it’s that newspapers should leave sports writing to sports writers.

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Seattle Jonesing for a superhero

October 12th, 2011 · Blog

Phoenix Jones

Phoenix Jones

Batman never had to deal with this. Oh, sure, the authorities wanted him on numerous occasions, trumping up charges to make the Dark Knight look like a menace to society instead of the superhero he was. But Commissioner Gordon knew an ally when he saw one. Then again, Batman never pepper sprayed a bunch of club-hopping partiers on the sidewalk.

Phoenix Jones is no Batman. The self-described “leader of the Rain City Superhero Movement,” he patrols the Streets of Seattle, striving to keep them safe for everyday citizens. On his Facebook page, which currently has more than 20,000 fans from all around the globe, Jones says, “I symbolize that the average person doesn’t have to walk around and see bad things and do nothing.”

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